but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
