I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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