haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
