I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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