dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
