Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
