i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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