My cat gives me a boner
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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