Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Randomize
