If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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