420 ftw
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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