i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
