I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
