O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
