I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
