At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
