Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
