Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
