i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
