you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
