walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
