An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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