You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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