I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
