We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
