This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
