Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
