therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
