Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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