...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
