definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
