ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
