Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
