paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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