So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
