If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
