He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
