woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
