i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
