Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
