I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
