Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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