then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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