I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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