I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
