you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
