I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
