Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
