It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
