Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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