I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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